#5sos outline

[theonottsbxtch]

AMNESIA | OP81

a/n: y'all i am so sorry. i've been sitting on this baddie for ages and i just couldn't be bothered to edit it, this is top level oscar angst. it's based off of amnesia by 5sos. SORRY.

summary: one night oscar let himself think about the one who got away

wc: 4.6k

Oscar gazed out over Monaco's glittering lights, the city sprawled before him like a velvet tapestry studded with jewels. The night lay in deceptive calm; the sea mirrored the stars in a still, silken sheet, but inside him, a tempest churned. All the luxury, all the glamour that gilded his world now felt hollow—empty without her presence. His fingers brushed the cool glass of the window, tracing the outline of a city that seemed distant, belonging to another man, untroubled and free, unburdened by memories.

The places they once roamed together, the routines they’d crafted, played like a mournful melody on endless repeat. He’d passed by their café today—the quiet refuge hidden from the world’s demands, where they’d while away hours, lost in each other’s gaze. He could still catch the faint scent of fresh coffee, could almost see her across the table, her smile as warm as the dawn. Yet now, the café was just another reminder, another ghost in the shadowed gallery of what they’d been.

The memory of their last kiss lingered, a phantom warmth on his lips he couldn’t shake. He had been the one to walk away, thinking it was right, believing he needed to chase ambition. But the choice had hollowed him. Each race, each practice, each night spent alone in this lofty apartment felt empty, robbed of meaning in her absence.

Even his team had begun to notice the change—the sharpness, the fire that once defined him, had dulled, blunted by the ache lodged deep within his chest. But how could he explain it? How could he tell them it wasn’t distraction, but a haunting? That he saw her everywhere—in the empty passenger seat of his car, in the fleeting reflections of strangers, in the vast, cold expanse of a bed that was now too wide without her beside him.

Oscar clenched his eyes shut, hoping to block out the onslaught of images, the merciless surge of memories. He should have been fixed on the next race, on reclaiming his rightful place, yet his mind clung only to her—how she’d felt in his arms, how her laughter had once been the melody of his days, how he’d let it all slip away.

They’d said she was fine, her friends—moving on, happy with someone new. But the thought of her wrapped in another man's embrace twisted like a blade in his chest. Did she ever think of him? Did she lie awake at night, swallowed by the same hollow ache that now gnawed at him? Or had she truly found happiness, leaving him behind in the shadows?

He opened his eyes, gazing into the darkness beyond the window, his breath misting the glass. The city slumbered, but for Oscar, the night stretched on—a sleepless expanse, each hour chafing like a missing piece of himself. He wondered if she felt it too, this void, this yearning.

Pressing his forehead to the cold glass, he tried to silence the storm of thoughts that would not leave him be. His reflection stared back, but all he saw were the ruins of their love—cracked, scattered, yet searingly vivid in his mind. He’d tried to move forward, to focus on what lay ahead, but it was impossible when the past clung to him like a shadow he could not shake.

Sometimes, in the small hours, on nights like these when sleep eluded him, he found himself wondering if it was all some quiet fiction. If it had ever been real—how could she be at ease now? How could she smile, laugh, and carry on while he lay adrift, lost in the wreckage they’d left behind? He was the one who ended it, yes, but it made no sense—how could she be whole when he was anything but?

The memory of her leaving was burnt into his mind, sharp as a fresh wound. He could still see the tears tracing lines down her cheeks, smudging the makeup she’d so carefully applied that morning. She’d looked at him with those eyes—eyes that once overflowed with love—and told him she loved him, one last time, before stepping through the door. Her words had broken him, though he’d tried to hold steady, to let her go, thinking it was the right thing to do, for her, for himself. Only now did he realise, with an ache that sat heavy in his chest, how terribly wrong he was.

Now, he couldn’t help but feel that something precious had been left behind—something beyond recall. The dreams they’d woven together, the fragile plans they’d made for a shared tomorrow—all vanished, tossed aside as if they held no weight. But they mattered—to him, they meant everything. Every wish whispered in the dead of night, every quiet promise wrapped in the dark—they’d been the scaffolding of his life, and without them, he felt himself unravelling, thread by thread.

There were days he wished he could simply wake up with amnesia, that he could shed these small, lingering ghosts. The way it felt to drift off beside her, her warmth curled into him, the ease of knowing she was near. He longed to erase the moments that had become his prison, holding him captive in a past that no longer existed. But try as he might, he could not outrun them; they were carved deep into his soul, and the pain of them remained unyielding.

He wasn’t fine. He was far from fine. Each day was a struggle, a battle waged against the crushing weight of what he’d lost. And as much as he tried to tell himself it was for the best, that she was better off without him, the truth haunted him: he couldn’t stop thinking of her. He couldn’t stop wishing he’d done things differently, that he’d fought harder to keep his career alongside his life with her, instead of letting it all slip so easily through his fingers.

Now, all he had were memories—memories that lingered no matter how fiercely he wanted to leave them behind. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw her face, the sadness in her gaze as she walked away, the dreams they’d once shared now scattered fragments of a life that might have been. And the hardest part was knowing it had been his own undoing. He’d unravelled the best thing in his life, and now he was left alone, gathering up the broken pieces in silence.

Beside him, his phone began to buzz on the floor, its screen lighting up with a familiar name and picture: Mum. The ringing seemed louder in the stillness of the apartment, an unwelcome noise that echoed off the walls, rattling something deep inside his chest. He knew why she was calling—she’d fallen into the habit of phoning him at this hour because she knew he’d be awake. For him, it was the dead of night; for her, the garden back home would be bathed in sunlight. He loved talking to his mother, but tonight, the thought of words felt heavy, too much to bear.

He watched the phone vibrate, his thumb hovering over the screen, torn between the urge to answer and the weight of guilt that kept him frozen. It wasn’t just any call—it was his mother, the one who had stood by him through every triumph and every heartbreak, who had supported him in ways no one else ever could. But answering meant facing the truth he’d been desperately avoiding, the truth that gnawed at him in the quiet moments when he was alone with his thoughts.

A minute slipped by before he finally chose to call her back.

He leaned forward, his face buried in his hands, the cool press of the bracelet she’d given him once biting into his brow. He’d turned everything into a mess, and now he sat alone, left to sort through the pieces with only his guilt and the hollow ache of knowing he’d hurt the one person who mattered most. With a trembling breath, he lifted his phone and dialled her, listening to the ring on the other end, each sound stretching the seconds to a taut and silent ache.

"Hello?" Her voice came softly through the line—gentle, patient, as if she'd been waiting, as if she knew he would find his way back. A quiet relief coloured her tone, and it twisted something deep within him.

"Hey, Mum," he managed, his voice barely a murmur. "Sorry I missed your call."

"It’s alright, love." She paused, and he could almost see her there, sitting with a slight crease of worry between her brows, waiting for him to speak, to let her in. "I just... wanted to check on you."

He forced a laugh, aiming for something light, but it fell flat, hollow. "I’m fine, really. Just… thinking, I suppose."

But she sensed it immediately—the weight in his voice, the heaviness he hadn’t managed to hide. "It’s alright if you’re not, Osc. You don’t have to pretend with me."

He swallowed, his eyes pressing shut against the sudden sting of tears. She’d always been able to see through him, to know when his heart was shadowed. "I know, Mum," he whispered, feeling his walls begin to crack. "It’s just… I- I don’t know." He stopped, the words tangling and tightening.

Her voice was soft, urging him gently. "What is it, darling?"

He opened his mouth, but the confession he’d been burying for so long felt like a lead weight on his tongue. Finally, he managed, “She seems to be doing well, Mum,” he murmured, forcing a fragile smile, one that remained unseen. “I saw some photos on her Instagram… she’s smiling, with a new lad. It appears she’s finally moved on.”

A long pause unfurled, stretching until it became almost unbearable. Oscar shifted on the floor, the weight of silence gnawing at his insides.

When his mother finally spoke, her voice, soft yet sharp, sliced through the stillness like a knife. “No, sweetheart, she’s not doing well.”

Her words struck him like a punch to the gut. For a moment, he forgot how to breathe, the air trapped within him as if his lungs had lost their way. He squeezed his eyes shut, fighting against the tide of emotion threatening to engulf him.

“What do you mean?” he whispered, his voice barely escaping his lips.

A sigh escaped the line, heavy with a lilt of disappointment. “She’s just… she’s not the same anymore, Osc. She wears a brave facade, but when I look into her eyes… I see the hurt. She’s been suffering for far too long.”

Guilt, which he had desperately tried to bury for months, clawed its way to the surface, tightening around his heart like a vice. His hand trembled as it pressed to his forehead, battling to hold himself together, but the truth was a burden too great to bear.

“It’s my fault,” he choked, voice cracking. “I hurt her, Mum… I did this to her.”

Tears began to cascade down his cheeks, unbidden, and he made no move to wipe them away. Deep within, he knew that no amount of regret or self-loathing could alter the past. The girl he had loved, the one who had given him everything, lay shattered because of him. And nothing, ever, would set that right.

His breath hitched as he fought to control the tremors coursing through his body. Tears streamed down his cheeks, hot and relentless, and he made no effort to hide them. “I messed up, Mum. I thought I could manage it all—balance my racing and us. But I was wrong. I didn’t realise how deeply I’d hurt her until it was too late.”

His mother’s voice broke through the haze of his despair, filled with a blend of concern and compassion. “Oh, Oscar… you were so focused on your dreams. You believed that if you succeeded, everything else would fall into place. But in your pursuit, you lost sight of what truly mattered. It’s okay.”

He winced at the truth in her words, the painful reality sinking in deeper. “I thought I could make it up to her later, that she’d understand. I convinced myself it was just temporary… but now she’s gone, and I don’t know how to fix it.”

The guilt twisted in his gut, a constant reminder of his choices. “I pushed her away. I didn’t see how much she was struggling, how lonely she felt while I was out there chasing trophies and glory. And now?” His voice cracked under the weight of his regret. “I can’t stop thinking about her. Every time I step into the car, all I see is her face, and it breaks me.”

“She was proud of you, Osc. She wanted you to chase your dreams, but she needed you too. You can’t forget that,” his mother said gently, offering solace amidst his turmoil.

“I should have been there for her,” he sobbed, shaking his head violently, as if trying to rid himself of the haunting memories. “Instead, I just kept pushing her further away. I thought I was doing the right thing, focusing on my career. I didn’t realise that she was suffering… that I was breaking her heart.”

His mother’s voice softened, filled with empathy. “It’s okay to make mistakes, sweetheart. What matters now is what you do next. You can’t change the past, but you can strive to make things right.”

He wiped his tears away with the back of his hand, frustration boiling beneath the surface. “But how? How do I even begin to make it right? She deserves better than what I gave her. I don’t know if she’ll even want to talk to me.”

“She might need time, but that doesn’t mean it’s over,” she replied, her tone reassuring. “If you truly care about her, you need to show her that you’re ready to listen, to support her, and to be there. It won’t be easy, but it’s worth it.”

Oscar looked up at the ceiling, wiping the remnants of tears from his cheeks. “I’ll talk to her, Mum. “

His mother’s voice came through the phone, steady and reassuring. “That’s a brave decision, Osc. But remember, you can’t expect it to go your way. She’s been hurt, and it’ll take time for her to process everything.”

“I know,” he replied, his voice steadier now, but tinged with uncertainty. “But I want her to see that I’m serious about changing, about being there for her this time. I just… I don’t know how to start.”

“Just be honest with her,” she advised, her tone gentle yet firm. “Let her share her feelings without interruption. If she needs to vent or express her pain, listen to her. Don’t try to fix everything in that moment. Just let her feel heard and understood.”

Oscar nodded, even though she couldn’t see him. “You’re right. I’ve spent so long focused on what I wanted to say that I forgot about what she needs to hear. She deserves that.”

“Exactly. And keep in mind, this conversation might not go the way you hope. She may still be angry or hurt, and that’s okay. It’s part of the healing process. You have to be ready for any response,” she cautioned, her voice steady and comforting.

“What if she doesn’t want to talk to me at all?” The thought knotted his stomach again, a fear he couldn’t shake. “What if she’s moved on for good?”

“Then you respect her decision,” his mother replied, her tone still calm. “You can’t control how she feels or what she chooses to do. All you can do is be honest about your feelings and show her that you’re committed to making things right. If it’s meant to be, it will find a way.”

He took a deep breath, the reality of the situation washing over him. “I just want her to know that I’ve changed. That I see now what really matters. I won’t let her down again.”

“Show her, don’t just tell her,” she emphasised softly. “Actions speak louder than words, darling. If she sees that you’re genuinely trying to be better, it may help rebuild that trust. But remember, trust takes time to restore.”

“I understand,” he murmured, feeling a mix of hope and trepidation. “I just wish I could fast forward to the part where everything’s okay again.”

His mother sighed, a sound heavy with experience. “Life doesn’t work that way, my love. But taking this first step, reaching out to her, is where it all begins. Just be patient with yourself and with her.”

He nodded, even though she couldn’t see him. “Okay. I’ll reach out to her today. No more waiting.”

“That’s the spirit,” she said, pride shining through her voice. “And whatever happens, remember that you’re not alone in this. I’m here for you every step of the way.”

Oscar took a deep breath. “Thanks, Mum. I love you.”

“Just keep your heart open, Osc. You’re strong enough to handle whatever comes next.”

When he hung up, he looked at his phone, looking for her familiar contact. He’d never removed the heart from her name.

His thumb hovered over the text button and before he could second guess himself, he texted her.

Are you up?

He’d seen that she was in England on holiday, it was two in the morning, she probably wasn’t awake.

Then his phone buzzed.

Yes.

A surge of adrenaline rushed through him, and without thinking, he pressed the call button, the sound of the dial tone echoing in the quiet of the night. Each ring felt like an eternity, his heart racing with anticipation and anxiety. Finally, her sleepy voice broke through the silence.

The silence stretched between them, heavy and filled with unacknowledged tension. “Hey,” he finally said, his voice barely above a whisper. “How are you doing?”

There was a pause, a rustling on the other end as she shifted, likely pulling the blankets tighter around her. “Why are you calling, Osc? It’s three in the morning.”

His heart warmed at the sound of the nickname, a reminder of their intimacy, but it quickly sank as he realised what was happening. He swallowed hard, the lump in his throat making it difficult to articulate his thoughts. “I just… I wanted to hear your voice. I miss you.”

The words hung in the air, vulnerable and raw. There was another silence, and his heart skipped a beat, fearing her response. She then spoke, her voice trembling slightly. “You can’t do that to me, Osc.”

“I know,” he rushed to say, desperation creeping into his tone. “I messed up. I know I hurt you, and I’m sorry. I just… I can’t shake the feeling that I need to talk to you. That I need you to know I care.”

Her voice cracked. “You can’t just call me out of the blue and expect everything to be fine. It’s not fair.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he said, the weight of regret settling heavily in his chest. “I thought focusing on my racing would help us, but I see how selfish I was. I should have fought harder for us.”

There was a long silence, and he could hear her breathing unsteadily on the other end. “I’ve moved on, Oscar,” she finally said, her voice steady but laced with a hint of pain. He knew she had, but he wouldn’t tell her that. “I’m in a relationship now.”

He felt like the air had been sucked from his lungs, those words seemed like there was a finality to them. “Are you happy?” he asked, his voice barely a whisper.

“I think I am,” she replied, her words soft yet resolute. “It’s been a while since you left, and I’ve built a life for myself. I’ve found someone who makes me smile.”

Oscar’s heart sank further. “And us? Did I make you happy? Can I still-?”

She took a shaky breath, and he could almost picture her struggling to hold back tears. “You don’t get to decide that now. You can’t just call me and ask me to forget everything that happened between us.”

“I know,” he said, his voice filled with desperation. “But I didn’t call to erase the past. I just wanted you to know that I care, and I’m sorry for what I did. I never wanted to hurt you.”

“I can’t keep going back and forth,” she said, her voice trembling. “You can’t just pull me back in when it’s convenient for you. It’s not fair to either of us.”

“I know it’s not fair, but please—” He stopped, the reality crashing down around him. “I just want you to be happy.”

He heard her wipe her tears through the phone, and he could hear the anguish in her voice as she spoke. “It hurts too much to think about us, Osc. I thought I could just move on, but then you call, and it all comes rushing back. You can’t do this to me.”

“I’m so sorry,” he murmured, his heart breaking for her. “I never meant to hurt you like this.”

“Do you even understand what it feels like to be in love with someone and then have them walk away?” she asked, her voice choked with emotion. “I had to put myself back together. I can’t just let you waltz back into my life and expect everything to be okay.”

“I don’t want to disrupt your life,” he said, anguish threading through his words. “I just wanted a chance to make things right.”

“I appreciate that, but it’s too late for us,” she said firmly, though her voice trembled with pain. “I’ve spent too long trying to heal, and I won’t go back to that place.”

“Are you sure?” he pressed, desperation creeping into his tone. “Is there no part of you that wants to try again?”

“I can’t,” she replied, her voice steady despite the tears. “I have to think about myself now. I deserve to be happy, and I’m finally starting to feel that way.”

The finality in her words shattered something deep within him. “I understand,” he said, his heart heavy with defeat. “I just wish things were different.”

“Me too,” she said softly. “But this is where we are now.”

The finality in her words shattered something deep within him. “And what if I quit? Could we try then?”

There was a pause, a moment where he hoped for a glimmer of possibility, but her next words were like a cold splash of water. “Osc, your career wasn’t the only problem. There was more. We were just two kids in love who ignored all the signs.”

He felt the weight of her words press down on him, the truth of their shared past enveloping him like a fog. “I know I was blind to everything else. I thought racing was all that mattered, but it wasn’t. It never was.”

“It was part of it, but not the only thing,” she said softly, the pain evident in her tone. “We had our own issues—communication, trust, the way we handled our dreams. I can’t just pretend those things don’t exist because you’re ready to start over.”

“I wish I could change everything,” he said, feeling the reality of their situation wash over him. “But I can’t undo the past.”

“Exactly,” she replied, her voice heavy with finality. “And I can’t keep holding on to what might have been. I need to let go.”

The ache in his heart deepened, a hollow feeling that filled the silence between them. “I understand,” he said, his voice barely a whisper. “I just wanted one more chance.”

“Sometimes, Osc, wanting isn’t enough,” she replied gently. “I wish you all the best. Truly. But we can’t go back.”

As the silence settled between them, Oscar felt the gravity of their words hanging heavily in the air. He took a shaky breath, gathering the strength to say what he had been holding back. “I love you,” he finally confessed, the vulnerability of his admission pouring out like a lifeline into the void.

“I hope one day you find someone who loves you the same way you love me now,” she replied softly, her voice tinged with sadness but also warmth. “You deserve it, Osc.”

The sincerity in her words pierced him, both a comfort and a heartache all at once. “I wish it could have been us,” he said, fighting against the tears that threatened to spill over anew.

“Me too,” she whispered. “But sometimes love isn’t enough. Take care of yourself, Osc.”

With that, there was a final, lingering pause before she hung up. The sound of the call ending echoed in his ears, a quiet punctuation mark on the chapter of their story that had abruptly closed.

Oscar sat there on the floor, phone still in hand, the world around him fading into a blur. He let the tears flow freely, each drop a testament to the pain and regret he felt. It was as if all the walls he had built around his heart crumbled at once, leaving him exposed and raw.

He hugged his knees to his chest, letting the sobs escape his throat uncontrollably. The quiet of the night felt suffocating, amplifying the silence left in her absence. Memories of their laughter, their shared dreams, and the warmth of her embrace flooded his mind, each thought a dagger twisting deeper into his chest.

He could still hear her voice, the way it had trembled when she spoke about moving on, and the way she had wished him happiness even as she let go. It felt impossibly cruel that she had found a way to be happy without him, while he remained lost in the wake of his choices.

Hours felt like minutes as he sat there on the floor, surrounded by the darkness of his room and the echo of a love that had once felt invincible. It was hard to imagine a future where he could love someone else the way he had loved her, knowing that part of his heart would always belong to the girl who had slipped through his fingers.

But it was his fault.

And there was nothing he could do now.

the end.

taglist: @iimplicitt @marshmummy @piastrams

[martiniblues]

she looks so perfect ; ellie williams

pairing gf!ellie x fem!reader

synopsis ellie comes back from a late night patrol to be greeted by you already waiting for her. luckily for her, you happen to be in a pair of her boxers.

genre so so much fluff because i’m sick and twisted, kinda suggestive but nothing explicit, mentions of food.

wc 0.8k

note this is inspired by she looks so perfect by 5SOS (aka the best song ever)

“ellie?” your voice waltzed into her ears as she stepped into your place. kicking off her beaten-up converse, smelling the sweet smell of pancakes wafting through the air.

“yeah, it’s me!” her mood instantly peaked at the sound of your voice and the soft music you decided to play as you cooked.

ellie tiptoed down the hall, wanting to observe you before you noticed her. you always called her a "creep" jokingly, of course, but she just loved watching you live in your own little world.

whether it was when you were so caught up in the book you were reading that your face would shift into the silliest expressions or when you danced softly with yourself as you got ready for the day, ellie loved it more than anything.

like right now, you stood in the center of your kitchen, mixing bowl in hand, swaying and humming along with the song that played from your phone. an oversized band tee hung loosely off your shoulder while a pair of red checkered boxers hugged your hips.

she recognized them immediately; they were the same ones she wore a few nights ago. she wondered where they had gone, but now her question was answered.

as you turned with the music, you caught sight of ellie leaning against the door frame, smirking with her arms crossed. “jesus, els you almost gave me a heart attack!” you clutched the bowl to your chest in fright. “we literally spoke thirty seconds ago,” she argued, walking behind you to wrap her arms around your waist and bury her face in your neck.

“mmmmm” she mumbled something you couldn't quite understand, feeling her lips move against your skin with each undefinable word. her cold hands ran over and under your shirt, outlining each and every curve and dip of your body. you continued swaying with the music silently, not trying to pry her into talking about her outing. you knew by the time breakfast was done, ellie would talk your ear off about the “stupid shit” jessie did or the “motherfuckers” she killed.

while one arm wrapped around your stomach and laid its palm to your side, ellie’s other hand traveled lower and closer to your hip. “and when did you get these? they look oddly familiar,” her thumb looped under the elastic band and pulled so the fabric would lightly snap against your skin, teasingly.

you flushed instantly at her words and raunchy actions. “they should be familiar since they're yours, els” you smiled. you and ellie always wore each other's clothes, an unspoken vow that the two of you were always together, even if it meant not physically.

ellie continued running her blunt nails against the fabric, dipping her curious fingers underneath the bottom to grab your ass or travel along the lace of your underwear.

“els, these are gonna burn if you keep distracting me,” you scolded her, turning around and pulling her hands off your body. “go sit, and i’ll bring you some in a sec." you punctuated your request with a kiss to her freckled cheek. in reply, she just huffed and sulked away like a grumpy child. it wasn’t a shock to you, ellie was always grumpy before the afternoon.

you plated the food for both you and ellie and practically skipped on your way to the table. you placed ellie’s plate in front of her while she played some games on her phone. before sitting, you kissed the top of her head and ruffled her auburn hair, which finally made her peel her eyes away from the game and notice the food ahead of her. “hey…” she whined, but still smiled as you sat beside her. before you could get settled, ellie reached out, grabbing your smooth calves with her rough hands to lay your legs across her thighs.

“missed me, huh?” you tilted your head at her clinginess. its not that ellie was never clingy, but typically, when she came back from a late night out, she wanted to do nothing but sleep.

“of course i missed you, my pretty girl.” she continued to stuff her mouth, rubbing your leg with her free hand.

“plus, if i would have known you’d be in this, i would have ran home.” she eyed you to emphasize her boxers, which rolled up higher on your thighs. “maybe i should just steal all your boxers, huh?” you leaned closer to her, completely disregarding the half-eaten pancake drowning in syrup on your plate.

“that sounds good,” she whispered even in the private walls of your place, grabbing your face and pulling her lips against yours. her soft strands of hair, which fell from the small knot at the back of her head, tickled your cheeks. a bloom of warmth sprouting in your chest at the feeling of her lips on yours.

ellie could be gone for an hour and when she came back, she would kiss you as if she had gone off to war for months.

you reached up to run your hands through the hair she left down that barely touched her shoulders, making her sigh contently. she pulled your chair closer to her, not breaking apart once.

before you could pounce on her, she pulled back with wide eyes. “what is it?” you grabbed her face, trying to figure out what had gotten her so bewildered. she grabbed your hand firmly and pulled it down to rest on your knee, which still lay across hers.

“i just remembered the stupidest fucking thing jessie did yesterday,” she laughed before beginning her tangent.

note this might be too niche but modern!ellie would DEFINITELY listen to 5SOS like i know she loves michael’s hair and is a sounds good feels good enthusiast!!!! she would totally learn songs on her guitar LIKEEE DO YOU SEE MY VISION!!!

[chewingcyanide]

𝐄𝐌𝐌'𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

below are the my own personal works. if you’d like to request a certain idea, feel free to in my inbox. furthermore, if you’d like to be added to my taglist, all you have to do is ask, or fill out the form in my navigation. i promise i don’t bite ;)

you are responsible for the content you consume. i am not your parent and won’t police you. most of what i write is fairly tame, but if you aren’t sure—don’t read it. i want you to be comfortable online. be gentle with yourself and know your limits.

feel free to request! what i have right now is a rough outline—players will be added, as will works.

⇨ most recently completed — 𝐈 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔, 𝐈𝐓'𝐒 𝐑𝐔𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐘 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 ( jh86 )

⇨ upcoming — ???

JH86

જ⁀➴ 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐑 𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐄𝐒 ( completed ) ( 18 + )

pairing — jack hughes x best friend!f!reader

synopsis — a sunset boat ride with your childhood best friend reveals more than you ever thought it would. based loosely on you are in love by taylor swift.

જ⁀➴ 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐃 𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 ( completed )

pairing — jack hughes x childhood best friend!reader

synopsis — pining over someone is never fun—even less so when they’re your childhood best friend, and dating someone else.

જ⁀➴ 𝐈 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔, 𝐈𝐓'𝐒 𝐑𝐔𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐘 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 ( completed ) ( part two of second best )

pairing — jack hughes x childhood best friend!reader

synopsis — you have to face jack after finally realizing that it’s an unrequited love; it’ll either spell the start or end of a lifelong friendship.

જ⁀➴ 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 '𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ( wip ) ( 18 + )

pairing — jack hughes x ex!f!reader

synopsis — a wedding, an after party, running into your ex after two years; what could go wrong? oh, yeah—everything. based loosely on about you by the 1975.

જ⁀➴ 𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐁𝐄 𝐀 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 ( wip )

pairing — jack hughes x childhood best friend!reader

synopsis — receiving an invitation in the mail bearing your long-time crush’s and another’s name would normally be cause to give up and move on. not for jack hughes. he’s determined to win you over, even if he only has six months to do it. based loosely on scott street by phoebe bridgers.

જ⁀➴ 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐃, 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐑 ( 18 + ) ( wip )

pairing — jack hughes x zegras!singer!reader

synopsis — a sold out show, glances shared between yourself and your older brother’s best friend leads to an encounter you wouldn’t have expected—and one you can’t forget. based loosely on think later by tate mcrae.

TZ11

જ⁀➴ 𝐂𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐒 & 𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐄𝐒 ( 18 + ) ( wip )

pairing — trevor zegras x ex!f!reader

synopsis — four months after a messy break up with the anahiem ducks’ finest, you find each other again at a party. only difference? he has a girl on his arm, one who isn’t you. based loosely on i don’t wanna talk (i just wanna dance) by glass animals.

જ⁀➴ 𝐈𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐆𝐎, 𝐈'𝐋𝐋 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐘 ( wip )

pairing — trevor zegras x f!reader ; omc x f!reader ( briefly )

synopsis — you have been best friends with trevor since before you knew what a best friend was. convinced you are in love with him, your current boyfriend makes a scene at the bar, forcing you to consider the possibility that yes, you may have been in love with your best friend. based loosely on say yes to heaven by lana del rey

QH43

જ⁀➴ 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐋𝐘 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 ( wip )

pairing — quinn hughes x ex!f!reader

synopsis — angry and confused following a sudden break up with your long-term boyfriend leads you drunk and miserable at a house party. and who else would play your white knight than your ex-boyfriend, quinn? based loosely on you don’t go to parties by 5sos.

જ⁀➴ 𝐈 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃'𝐕𝐄 𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 ( 18 + ) ( wip )

pairing — quinn hughes x f!reader ; jack hughes x ex!f!reader

synopsis — on-and-off with his brother, quinn has seen every terrible thing jack has done to you. when finally you’ve had enough, the opportunity of a lifetime presents itself; why fuck his best friend, when you can fuck his brother? based loosely on i should’ve fucked your brother by olivia o’brien

જ⁀➴ 𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐊-𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 ( 18 + ) ( completed ) ( 400 celly! )

pairing — quinn hughes x f!reader

synopsis — ever since overhearing quinn’s snide remark at you, you’ve been just shy of killing each other whenever in the same room. when halloween comes up and your friend group winds up at a haunted house, you are unfortunately paired with quinn to go through the attraction. together. alone.

MB13

જ⁀➴ '𝐓𝐈𝐋 𝐈𝐓'𝐒 𝐆𝐎𝐍𝐄

pairing — mat barzal x f!reader ; trevor zegras x ex!f!reader

synopsis — after breaking up with the man you thought you’d marry, you finally manage to pick up the pieces of your shattered heart and offer them to another. only, your budding romance isn’t as secret as you once thought. a meeting on the ice of your past and present brings more than just bruised skin and bloody knuckles: it brings a choice. your now, or your before?

MT19

જ⁀➴ 𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐍, 𝐂𝐑𝐀𝐒𝐇, 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄

pairing — matthew tkachuk x f!reader

synopsis — the swift approach of brady’s wedding leaves matthew with no choice but to ask his neighbor to accompany him as his plus one; a weekend of forced proximity, a one-bed room, and heaps of alcohol—what could go wrong? based loosely on talk fast by 5sos.

JH86

જ⁀➴ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐒𝐓, 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐔𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄, 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐍 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐍 ( 18 + ) ( wip )

pairing — jack hughes x f!reader

synopsis — a failed marriage would have been worse, had it not resulted in your only son, blake hughes. summer is coming up, and so arrives the deal you’d made with blake’s father, jack—he gets to take him to michigan for two of the three months out of summer. only problem? blake refuses to go with his father, unless you come too. eager to please your son, and not ruin his summer, you agree. will you manage to hold your ground and resist jack, or fall right back into his arms?

part one

part two

part three

???

જ⁀➴ 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍 ( 18 + ) ( wip )

pairing — jack hughes x fem!reader ; best friend!luke hughes x fem reader ( platonic )

synopsis — from freshman year until now, you’ve buried your feelings for your best friend’s older brother in the shallow grave of your heart. an annual summer trip to the east coast reveals much more than you desired, and begins the knotted love story of yourself and jack hughes.

— 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄 ᝰ.ᐟ 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 ( completed )

a summer getaway to the coast unravels more secrets than you’re comfortable sharing; namely, the love you’ve harbored for your best friend’s older brother for nearly five years. based loosely on cruel summer by taylor swift.

— 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐖𝐎 ᝰ.ᐟ 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐝, 𝐦𝐚𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 ( completed ) ( 18 + )

the second part of breakable heaven, we jump forward to the holiday season, drawing you back home to michigan, and right back into the arms of your first and only love. based loosely on i wish you would by taylor swift.

— 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 ᝰ.ᐟ 𝐠𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐨 ( completed ) ( 18 + )

the third installment of breakable heaven, you find yourself trying your hardest to foster a relationship with jack, all while keeping luke none the wiser. what happens when it all comes out at jack’s birthday celebration? based loosely on dress by taylor swift.

— 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 ᝰ.ᐟ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 ( completed )

the fourth part of breakable heaven; dealing with the fallout of luke discovering your secret relationship with his older brother, you find yourself pouring over the memories of what was—and trying your hardest to hold onto what is, even as summer rapidly approaches and nothing is certain. based loosely on the very first night by taylor swift.

[5sos-fic-fest]

2024 5sos Fic Fest Masterlist

We had a total of 14 fics posted for this round of the fest, spanning a variety of pairings, lengths, and genres! There’s a collection on AO3 that can be found here, and tumblr posts are linked in this masterlist!  If you read, try to show the author some love by leaving kudos, comments, and reblogging their post!

We Could Be Anything by @kittenclifford (E, 14k, muke)

It’s become a habit now, a routine, almost normal for Luke to find himself outside of his dorm room, on the wrong side of the door, in the middle of the night on a weeknight. It was the third time this week (and it was only Wednesday) that Luke had been sexiled from his own dorm room by his roommate Calum. But he had to admit, Luke didn't mind being exiled nearly as much as he let on, because it meant that he got to spend time on the floor above. With Michael. Or: college AU where Luke's sexile from his dorm room leads him to Michael's room instead; from the floor to the bed, from friends to lovers

heart is gonna flatline || l.h. by @takemealivelh (M, 7k, luke x oc)

tour puts luke and lucy’s feelings to the test. addiction to sex, alcohol and weed for when things get hard. SMUT.

the cat's plan by @kaleidoscopeminds (T, 11k, cake)

Calum would like it to go on the record that Luke never wanted to keep the cat in the first place. Luke would argue that’s not entirely true. Not that it matters anyway, because when Calum shows up in their flat after work, hoodie soaked through, a pitiful mewing coming from his pocket and a beseeching look in his eyes, there was no way Luke would have had it in him to say no.

on purpose by @burstingsunrise (T, 20k, cake)

The desire to kiss Luke is overwhelming. Calum knows he looks ridiculous right now, but Luke’s right there, face inches away, smiling fondly at Calum’s stupid face caught between his careful palms. His eyes are different too. He’s not looking at Calum like he wants to fuck him. He’s looking at Calum like he wants to gently cradle Calum in his giant hands like a baby chick. Somehow, that’s even worse.

there's something that you should know by @cxmp-writes (T, 4k, malum)

Every summer, skater boys Calum and Michael travel to a sleepaway camp like no other — Camp Woodward — to hone their skills, meet new friends, and take their talents to the next level. But it's what they're not expecting that will change their lives forever.

Under the Moonlight by @ashtons-lemon-tree (T, 682, mashton)

Ashton reveals his feelings for Michael at a party celebrating their album release

the story needs some mending (and a better happy ending) by @clumsyclifford (T, 5k, mashton)

“‘Let's see a witch,’” Ashton says. “‘It’ll be fine, Ashton. What could go wrong?’” “I didn't say witch, I said psychic! How was I meant to know she was both?” “From the sign!” Ashton says, gesturing emphatically at an A-board whose advertised PSYCHIC/WITCH SERVICES couldn't be more clearly outlined. Michael tries to grumble but only manages a rumbly croak. “Look, you're fine. I'm the one who’s a bloody frog.” “Play stupid games, win stupid prizes,” Ashton sing-songs.

caught beneath the landslide by @starvinginbelair (E, 4k, lashton)

“You wanted to hear the playlist,” Ashton says, voice low and gravelly.  He shoves the plastic CD case back onto the shelf, the one that once housed this damned CD that’s spinning music around them right now, that Luke should’ve never asked about in the first place.  “This is the playlist.” “I don’t want your number no,” the CD croons, clearly unaware of whatever the hell it is that’s going on right now.  “I don’t wanna give you mine and nooooooooo.” “I didn’t think you’d put No Scrubs on it,” Luke counters, sticking his thumb in his mouth to bite at the edges of his nails.

may the best man win by @lovesosweeet (T, 20k, calum x oc)

competing for the best toast at their best friends' wedding, calum and tanner go from being pretend rivals to... something like friends. maybe a little more? may the best man win.

the skies falling down (end of the world) by @sup3rbloom (T, 4k, lashton)

Luke is severely hurt, and Ashton is desperate to find something to heal his best friend. He's on the brink of giving up when he meets Michael and Calum, who happen to be from a community that has medical supplies.

Fell In Love With a Boy at the Rock Show by @bandtra5h (M, 4k, malum)

Michael came to Calum with a request, a huge best friend favor: “Calum I need you to drive me Vegas!” Or Michael impulsively buys tickets to an emo festival in Las Vegas to meet up with a girl he's been talking to on Discord, but has no idea how he's gonna get there. Luckily, Calum has a car...

running from something (running back to you) by @the-technorats (M, 23k, lashton)

Luke should have died a long time ago. He’s had every chance to, and somehow he just keeps evading it. Being in the Hunger Games, though, seems like it should be the final nail in his excruciatingly, meticulously constructed coffin. Or, the one where Luke is the District Four male tribute for the Hunger Games and he loses everything. Everything, that is, except for Ashton.

Always In Spring by @chamaleonsoul (M, 17k, cake)

Luke and Calum’s friendship has gone through many highs and lows, and it’s so full of parallels and full-circle moments that it’s almost like the universe is set to make sure they grow, love and stay together.

vampire?! (should have known it was strange you only come out at night) by @igarbagecannoteven (T, 2k, muke)

“What I’m trying to say is, it’s awesome that your family has this whole ‘goth mad scientist finally got paid for all the Frankensteins they’ve made’ type vibe going on, but if you plan on bringing someone home to meet the parents, you should give them a heads up. It was a little hard to appreciate the coolness when I was trying to figure out if I was going to end up as Cult Victim Number Two.” “What made you decide that’s not going to happen?” Luke asked. Michael thought about Calum’s texts and shrugged. “Honestly? Still not a hundred percent sure it’s not. But if you’re doing the sacrificing, I don’t know if I’d mind.”

Thank you to all of the participants!

[clumsyclifford]

“‘Let's see a witch,’” Ashton says. “‘It’ll be fine, Ashton. What could go wrong?’” “I didn't say witch, I said psychic! How was I meant to know she was both?” “From the sign!” Ashton says, gesturing emphatically at an A-board whose advertised PSYCHIC/WITCH SERVICES couldn't be more clearly outlined. Michael tries to grumble but only manages a rumbly croak. “Look, you're fine. I'm the one who’s a bloody frog.” “Play stupid games, win stupid prizes,” Ashton sing-songs.

for the @5sos-fic-fest friends to lovers fic event i present to you: modern fairytale silliness mashton!

[multi-fandom-simp]

Ghost of you

Helaena Targaryen x Female!Reader (MAIN), Slight Aemond Targaryen x Female!Reader

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon or Fire & Blood characters. I do not claim any of them as my own. This work is purely fictional.

Synopsis: You and Helaena had been lovers in secret for years, peaceful and content lovers at that. What happens when the dance of dragons turns that peace into pain? Could you live with the burden of everything being torn from your grasp?

! TW !: Mention of character death. mention of blood, heavy drinking, brief mention of incest(between Helaena and Aemond, not the reader), mentions of murder, mention of suicide, self harm, hallucinations, bad mental health, angst ofc

(A/N: This a little blurb I had while listening to some music earlier, and I just had to write it down. It is based off of "Ghost of You" by 5SOS. It fit Helaena so well, I couldn't not write it. I've never done a writing centered around a song, so it was fun to experiment. As always, I love to hear your thoughts on the piece or even helpful criticism, so don't be shy, I always love to talk/listen! Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy!)

(P.S. Dialogue will be in italics like always, but the song lyrics are in bold italics!)

Word Count: 1,267

You couldn't quite pinpoint the moment in which you fell head over heels for your husband's sister, Helaena Targaryen. Also known as the dreamer or the idiot as Aegon would disdainfully call her. She had been a constant part of your life from the moment you were betrothed to her brother, Aemond, up until now. Originally greeting you as a friend and soon-to-be sister, then turning into the very reason your heartbeat. Neither Aemond nor Aegon cared, in fact, the two of them preferred it. Aemond loved his sister in the same way you did, and Aegon didn't care what the three of you did as long as he could visit his whores. The pair of them still did their duty of course, as did you and Aemond.

Alysara and Alarys were the names that Helaena had gifted the first and only two children you would have with Aemond. In return, you had gifted similar names to her first two babes. Jaehaera and Jaehaerys had undoubtedly been Aegon's, but Maelor came as a result of Helaena's first night with you and Aemond. Though Aemond wasn't a bad father, you and your lover were mainly the ones raising the brood of Targaryen children. Almost as if it were only the two of you who had produced the small little family. If only it could've stayed that way forever.

~Here I am waking up, still can't sleep on your side

There's your coffee cup, the lipstick stain fades with time~

The blinding sun is what rouses you from your slumber rather than Helaena's airy whispers. It crawls through the corners of your eyes, forcing them to open, forcing them to stare at the wine chalice still left on the balcony's edge. You focus on the rose-colored imprint staining the edge of the glass, it's the same imprint that she often left on your cheek.

~If I can dream long enough, you'd tell me I'd be just fine

I'll be just fine~

You can almost see her, if you close your eyes slowly enough that is. The glare from the sun outlines Helaena's body as she bound towards the bed. Her wild ashen hair glimmers like whisps of wind and the laughter bubbling from her lips sounds like a handful of diamonds.

"You'll miss the sunrise, Issa jorrāelagon" My love. The moment she says those two words her image flickers. Her feet were now firmly planted on the edge of the balcony rather than the floor of it.

"Forgive me, Issa jorrāelagon" and just like that, the dream is over and Helaena is gone.

~So I drown it out like I always do

Dancing through our house with the ghost of you~

Squeezing your eyes shut does nothing to erase the memory, but wine does. The scarlet poison is what drags you from bed on this morning, and every other morning as well. The wildfire that it sparks in your throat keeps the memories behind a wall of fire.

~And I chase it down, with a shot of truth

Dancing through our house with the ghost of you~

Between every swig and every gulp, there is a breath. A sharp, hiccupping breath that reminds you that you're still alive. You're alive and Helaena is not. The breath is drowned out with another swig and then another gulp. You repeat the cycle until you're no longer dancing alone in the sunlight.

"I'm here, Issa jorrāelagon" The smell of citrus and grass announces her presence. It drowns you better than wine does. Burning not only your throat but your heart too.

~Cleaning up today, found that old Zeppelin shirt

You wore when you ran away, and no one could feel your hurt~

You reached out to touch her, hold her, anything to know that she was real. The cotton of her dress no more than grazed your fingers before it was pooling with blood. It ran down your fingers like spilled wine.

"You're not here, not really" Another swig, another gulp, this time to choke down the sobs. Before you know it, the walls began to sway. You reach out for the bedpost only to meet the cold ground instead. The stone floor is unforgiving against your head.

~We're too young, too dumb, to know things like love~

Innocent giggles and the telltale sound of lips bounce off the walls, " I'd like to do that again."

"I can't deny a princess now can I?" You had sounded so young, so naïve, nothing like how you were now. The only thing remaining true throughout your growth was the unwavering loyalty to Helaena. Even in death your heart only answered to her.

"You'll be a princess once you marry Aemond-"

"-I'd much rather marry you." Perhaps things would've been different if you were allowed to love Helaena openly. You could've asked for her hand, married her, saved her from birthing Aegon's children. Saved her from losing them because they were Aegon's children.

~But I know better now, better now~

"It should've never been you" Your sobs were the only truthful thing at the moment. Your husband had been the one to kill Lucerys Velaryon, so why was it Helaena who lost her son and not you? She had loved both of your children as her own, but their loss would've never driven her to madness as Jaehaerys's death had.

A son for a son, and yet they had taken much more than that. It started with a son and then ended with a lover. They had even taken your husband from you. It didn't even matter if you truly loved him or not. The fact that he was gone and with Helaena in whatever afterlife there was felt like torture to you. Aemond should've been here to keep you from drowning, but he wasn't.

~So I drown it out like I always do

Dancing through our house with the ghost of you~

"Hurry, you'll miss the sunrise!" You pushed yourself up on trembling arms and tried to stand. You got a few inches from the ground before your knee crashed back down.

" I'm coming, birdy, I promise" The pads of your fingers broke open as you stumbled your way along the rough ground. Every push and pull more agonizing than the last, but it all vanished once you looked up. Helaena's feet padded softly as she twirled past you and over to the balcony where her cup still lay. She brought the chalice to her rose-colored lips, peering over the rim as she did so. Your heart stuttered as her eyes met yours.

"Wait for me," you wanted to scream. Instead, you pushed harder, even grabbing the walls for leverage. Push after pull, scrape after scuffle, you eventually reach your love, your Helaena.

~And I chase it down, with a shot of truth

Your hands reached for her once more, " You're here-"

That my feet don't dance like they did with you~

"-muña?" You stumbled forward against the balcony's railing, Helaena disappearing with the wind. You turned your head to find your oldest boy, Alarys, with Jaehaera by his side. Her little eyes were wide with fear as she observed you crumpled against the same balcony that she had watched her mother jump from. Jaehaera's eyes were like a douse of cold water as realization dawned on you. Looking down, your feet left trails of scarlet, your dress was torn in places, and most importantly, you were alone. You had not been dancing, you had been crawling. Helaena was never here.

You were doing nothing more than dancing with the ghost of her.

[2jcore]

hwanghon brew director's cut

hello everyone first of all, please bear with me this is the first time i've tried using tumblr and i honestly don't know my way around it yet. With that being said, please allow me to give you the director's cut of Hwanghon Brew i promised 2 years ago lmao TT

So, for starters, hwanghon brew was commissioned by my good friend ate cams (who was absolutely patient with me. love u ate cams mwa) 

These were the things requested:

heejayke poly

established heejay

modern vampires

college/frat au

5+1

heejayke feeding on each other

THE PLAYLIST

I was given the freedom to do whatever, come up with whatever plot that ties these things together, so I did! The first thing that came to mind of course, was the vibe I wanted to go for. So i immediately looked up a modern vampire playlist to set the mood, and stumbled upon this playlist. which is honestly so fitting because 1) the cover is a screenshot from the given-taken japanese mv, and 2) the person who made it seems to be an engene seeing that the first song in the playlist is drunk-dazed.

Anyway, Supermassive Black Hole by Muse became the first song that I associated to Hwangwon. It was like, idk the theme song while i was writing it? In fact, the whole black market scene during the intro was written to supermassive black hole. I didn't really make a moodboard for HB and instead created a playlist and relied on getting the vibe from that instead.

if i were to describe the songs that i picked out for hwanghon, it would be dark and somewhat eerie. most of them were rock/alt, (Test Me - Xdinary Heroes, One in a Billion - Enhypen, Tonight is the Night I Die - Palaye Royal)

some were also alternative/indie like Teeth - 5SOS, cult leader - king mala, and Blood // Water - grandson.

I played this playlist 24/7 while writing the fic NO JOKE LIKE ESPECIALLY IN THE SHOWER even though some of the songs creeped me out T^T bc honest to god some of them lowkey sounded demonic but it is what it is. So, I listened to these vampy songs while trying to come up with the main theme of the fic.

If you watched the video teasers I posted on my twitter, you'd know that I strongly associated Xdinary Heroes songs to HB, especially during the scenes where they're playing tag and running around the city, especially Test Me.

Hold Me Tight, and Tunnel by KimYeji were for the more somber parts like Jake's inner monologues about fitting in, heejay talking about the coven and jake, and especially the scene were Jay runs to Jake in the bathroom and relives Heeseung's near death.

And while I do associate their running scenes with xdinary heroes, BONBON GiRL by SARM is an honorable mention. To me this is a bouncier song for the times they're leaping from one rooftop to another, just having fun while Seoul's citylights shine below them. When I play this song, Hwanghon Brew suddenly turns into this cyberpunk vampire anime in my mind.

Some special mentions that I really enjoyed listening to and helped me brainstorm for scenes are: Real Boy - Lola Blanc, Verbatim - Mother Mother, and Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High - Artic Monkeys.

OUTLINING

As some of my readers might know, my first step when writing a fic is to make an outline. My first thought was to think about the characters. With heejay being established, it only made sense for me to make them members of the frat/coven. With that thought in mind, I wondered how to write Jake into their lives. And thought, hmm, what if he moved to Seoul for college and stumbles upon one of the coven members? Let's make him a newly turned vampire from the country side.

(jake bagong salta to coven = jake new to the coven)

So i was trying to come up with the main theme of the fic and initially came up with this:

I was just thinking that jake was just, idk, desperately trying to fit in even though he was already part of the coven, and heejay could teach him how to be a vampire and their feelings could develop through that. Of course, this idea changed as the outline became more fleshed out.

After establishing the basics of the character backgrounds, my next step was to outline the plot itself. I divided the plot into the 5+1 structure, and brainstormed for a main event/scene per number.

this is the unedited original outline LMAOO which obviously was changed as I went along with writing it. I wasn't given an exact word count and was just told to write whatever I wanted (thank you sm ate cams 🥺) and honestly i went into this thinking that i'd be done by 10k HAHAHAHA BOY WAS I WRONG. then again, i shouldn't really be surprised because i have the habit of going over my target word count. In fact my bestie Erina (who helped me brainrot a lot during the writing process (luv u bubbie hwanghon brew will forever be your inaanak) was like. bubbie. how could you even think you'd be done by 10k LMAOO)

anyways, let's unpack this original outline. the [ 5 - hoon supposed to take him to hwanghon but can't ] made it to the fic since Sunghoon really asked Jay to take Jake to hwanghon. [ 4 - heeseung arc, bonding over ramyeon ] was only partially kept. Instead of the 4th part being about jake feeling hesitant, it becomes heejake growing closer through their convo while having ramyeon, and jake trying to get closer to jay by using the honey cookies. So i guess you can say that food holds importance in this part.

the third part where jake underestimates his appetite and heejay come to the rescue is kept, but added to it are heejake and heejay scenes, the latter giving more insight to the jayke aspect of things

The 2nd one. So my thought process here is: the initiation is successful. However, throughout and after this, heejay become more and more possessive over jake without them actually noticing and without them realizing why. So, the members intervene by acting all flirty with jake until heejay finally acknowledge their feelings, and this leads to the jealousy jealousy part in number 1. and somehow the tension just builds up until they all just erupt and make out, which would lead to them feeding on each other.

as you can see, khan's appearance in the fic was not part of the original outline. and that definitely changes a lot of things.

for the first few parts of the fic, i outlined the turn of events and crossed them out once i finished writing that sequence. my original outline somehow ends here? IDK how i outlined the rest of the fic LMAO IT WAS A FEVER DREAM. ANYWAY.

THE BLACKMARKET

i wanted to start the fic with a banger. literally. so, what better way to do it than to bombard countryboy Jake with the grim reality of the city, right?

After listening to Supermassive Black Hole, this black market scene immediately played in my mind and set the tone for the rest of the fic. It came to me quickly--the image of Jake stumbling upon a black market swaying, dizzy as hell, his vision splitting and all these neon signs swirling around him. for me, the song cemented the over all night life/cyberpunk vibe that I was going for.

At first, I was thinking that it's Jay who finds Jake in that market. Like the thought of spotting Jay amidst the blur of people was so appealing to me (especially as your resident jayker). But I figured that it would be better for Sunghoon to find him first, because not only does this create a foundation for jakehoon's friendship, but also sets the stage for a better meeting between jake and heejay.

Right off the bat I wanted this scene to be as descriptive as possible, so that I could immediately give the readers a good feel of the universe and the dark tone of the fic. Hence why I enumerated every single thing from a man trying to sell Jake drugs,

“Hyungnim,” A man suddenly slings his arm around his shoulders. “You looking for a good time?” “N-no,” He answers meekly, pushing away the man who had a couple of tattoos dotting the left side of his face, his leather jacket reeking of alcohol and some kind of earthy, herby scent.

(that's why he smelled earthy - y'know...marijuana) to prostitutes trying to beckon him over

“Hey, are you lost?” Two girls call out to him in coy voices, breaking out into giggles and taking drags of the cigarettes pinned between their long manicured nails.

Anyway, while i was writing this, i was constantly seeking opinions from my close friends (love u erina i could not have written most of this without you) and recieved good feedback about the intro, so i think it was pretty effective.

SUNGHOON

(this is the hoon in my head!! ugh so hot fr fr imagine him just walking along seoul at night jumping from one roof to another)

like I said, since i made Sunghoon the character who finds Jake, I wanted him to make a strong impression, which is why he is how he is--practically dragging Jake to the cafe, ordering for him, talking on and on even though Jake wasn't responding LMAO like Sunghoon didn't really care TT

I also wanted him to have #humor which is why he's so damn sarcastic all the time "don't worry i don't bite" SAYS THIS WITH HIS CHEST WHILE BEING A WHOLE VAMPIRE LIKE FUCK OFFF "no humans were harmed in the process" he's so??!?! anyway, it was super fun writing him, he's easily one of my favorite sunghoons in all the fics i've written.

though it looks like him being a lovesick fool is a common thing among my fics and i don't regret this one bit. It's so funny writing Sunghoon pining over Sunoo when the latter doesn't even give him his time of the day (not true, actually he's just equally enamored)

While it is true that Sunghoon is one of the comedic reliefs in this fic, Sunghoon is also the token best friend that everyone needs. He has his own way of looking after Jake that is just so endearing to me. In fact one of my personal favorite scenes would be the jakehoon skirmish during the initiation where they're just tumbling down from one roof to another. They way Sunghoon was so proud when Jake managed to get his necklace 🥺 and the way he was like "Go. The other three won't be as easy as I was."

In his own silly little ways, he makes sure that Jake isn't left behind and watches over him. (Sunghoon wouldn't have brought Jake to the cafe and bought him a blood smoothie to begin with if he wasn't so kind) Speaking of blood smoothie, that brings us to the next part

RASPBERRY ORANGES

also known as blood oranges, where Enhypen coined their album name "Orange Blood" from. If you check the dates, Hwanghon Brew was posted before this release so belift, i was first 🙄 (lighthearted) anyway, blood oranges are literally just oranges but the insides are red.

I was searching for a fruit that would pass off as the same color as blood because I wanted Sunghoon to order something cryptic. In the sense that it's not really on the menu since only vampires would know about it because it's a code for blood, but if per se, a human manages to overhear it and ask about it, they could just serve a real fruit smoothie and it wouldn't look any different.

I thought maybe dragonfruit? but it's too purple. raspberry is too pink. strawberry would be too pale. I stumbled upon the raspberry orange, saw the pulp looking like blood and i thought, yeah this is it. This looks vampire-y enough.

I included this fruit solely because of that and didn't really think of anything else lol. Later on, I found out through my moot Kaia that blood oranges hold meanings that really align with the concept of Hwanghon Brew

THE BASEMENT

I don't know if i should feel flattered, scared, or annoyed that there seem to be so many parallels between hwanghon brew and official enhypen content. because first of all, i posted HB in october of 2022, and it had the line "bite me" (i'm not gatekeeping that phrase but the parallels are just fascinating) and then they come out with Dark Blood and Bite Me as the title track in 2023. Also, like i said, blood oranges, Orange Blood, etc etc. And the basement/frathouse IS EXACTLY WHAT THE SET IN SWEET VENOM LOOKS LIKE

like. the strobe lights, the party, the dingy mattresses??? thanks to belift for bringing my fic to life i guess??!?W@#$ anyway, since they were a coven disguised as a frat, i figured it was only right for them to have a frathouse. i didn't do much research on frats because i didn't focus on it much in the fic, but i guessed that frathouses were mostly...well, messy. Plus, they're supposed to be broke college kids, so i thought it'd be fitting for them to rent out a cheap basement in one of the shady alleys in Seoul.

THE COVEN

While it is true that they're also kind of a frat, like Sunghoon says,

“It’s a coven and a frat. I mean, we’re fronting as a frat. But, it’s not exactly a disguise because we really are a frat? You get what I mean.” Sunghoon waves his messy explanation off.

they are a coven first and foremost, which to me crosses out the thought that they only have men (since y'know. frat). in my mind the coven also has female members. since txt are part of it, i immediately thought of itzy, pictured yeji and ryujin on the couch making out and i was like yeah, i like that.

aside from the basement looking like sweet venom, at the time I was writing it, SV wasn't out yet. So the party was actually mostly based on the drunk-dazed party

Anyway, it's mentioned in passing that the pioneer of this coven is Jay, and he served as its leader for a good few centuries before handing the torch to Jungwon. Since then, he took the backseat with the leadership, but still helped in calling the shots. Jungwon doesn't make big decisions without consulting him (and Heeseung consequently)

MEETING HEEJAY

Like I said, I wanted to set the stage for heejay--present them in a way that both Jake and the readers know that they aren't like any other. I wanted them to be revered. While everyone was wilding it out partying, they were in the backroom watching it all unfold. idk there's just something about them just sitting there and watching over their people. literally like kings over their constituents. (constituents??!!)

Tall nose, sharp lips, tanned skin peeking out from the rips in his jeans

Tall nose, small lips, sharp jaw trailing down to a chin that juts out when he frowns. A leather choker around his neck, his knitted top torn.

These were the pictures in mind when I wrote the descriptions of heejay's first appearance

JAY

i can't recall if someone left a comment about this or a friend told me, but i remember someone saying that it made so much sense that Jay was the eldest vampire. they said that usually, people would think of going according to enha's real age, so it was refreshing to see Jay as the eldest.

to me it just felt right to make Jay the eldest and only pureblood in the coven. I think i based this off of the fact that Jay in real life was obviously brought up in a high class (?) family and environment. He knows a lot of things, is well off, and yet he seems street smart and wise.

with this, i came up with his background--his family being around for ages, somewhat pioneers of the current seoul vampire society, and owners of the disguised vampire establishments. speaking of family, it's implied that Yoongi is Jay's relative.

aside from this, I was thinking, Jay is mostly a loving sweetheart in the fics i've written, so why not make him a loving but emotionally constipated tsundere in this one?

anyway, given the fact that jay is the eldest, only pureblood, and founding father of their coven, i think his disposition was to be expected. he's literally like a grumpy overprotective father. to him his coven is his family, which is why he's skeptical to let strangers get close to the people he loves. especially after the first khan incident. He let khan into the coven, treated him as his own kin, and khan betrayed him by abandoning all the principles and beliefs he stands by, and put their coven in a bad light because of this. I can't really blame him for being on guard and cut throat with accepting new members after this.

HEESEUNG

heejay being 7yearz going on 8yearz in real life is truly the basis of heejay in this fic, and consequently, Heeseung's characterization. much like in real life, i wanted them to have spent a lot of time together, which is why i wrote Heeseung as coming from 1235, which was the Goryeo era. Originally, I wrote Heeseung as coming from the late 13th century, but wanted to align his story with a real historic event. That's why I moved his year to 1235 where there were Mongol invasions, which led to him being injured, and then led to him being turned.

I think it's evident especially with the whole "While Jay is the storm, Heeseung is the calm before that" part, that I wanted to strike a balance with the characterization of heejay. To me it also felt so...idk, couple? so parents of them to be opposites in this way. It was like Tamaki going all out and then there's Kyouya, his silent and supportive right hand man. (from Ouran High School Host Club)

Which is why I leaned into Heeseung's laid back traits in real life and channeled his relaxed and easy going disposition. I just figured it would have been too difficult for Jake if both Jay and Hee were skeptical of him, so i thought let's make Heeseung someone who is a good judge of character, someone who immediately sees the good in Jake and becomes smitten.

I believe Heeseung acted as a bridge more than anything because jayke's bond was honestly the last to form, so he's a mediator in more ways than one.

With regards to the coven, it is mentioned that Heeseung is the second eldest, which means that next to Jay, he's the most respected because #age and #heirarchy and all. Also, no one would dare question Hee because he is after all, Jay's life long partner and lover.

In my mind, Heeseung is very wife in this fic, in the sense that most of the time he is Jay's voice of reason, lending his silent support especially during the times it is most needed. While the coven was founded by Jay, it would be crippled without Heeseung.

JAYHOON CONVO (OUTTAKE)

On the day that Sunghoon told Jake to come to the coven, Heeseung was the only one in the basement. Jay went grocery shopping and Sunghoon bumped into him on the way there. they both make an entrance while bickering

the door swings open and in comes Sunghoon and Jay, at each other’s neck. Figuratively.  “You should have told me beforehand!” “Well, I’m telling you now,”

Actually, they were fighting over Jake. The whole conversation goes like this:

"I told him he could join." "Who are you to decide that?" "Oh c'mon, aren't we like allowed to make referrals? like in companies? I'm pretty sure I should be getting a commission for recruiting him." "??? we are not a multi level company. Go bring your pyramid schemes somewhere else. Not to my coven" "But I already told Jake to come over," "You should have told me beforehand!" "Well, I'm telling you now"

their convo sounds pretty funny and sooo jayhoon in my head that i just had to share this even though it didn't make the cut in the fic

HWANGHON BREW

the heart of this fic (only actually partly, but the fact that this fic is named after the cafe make a big difference, no?) I'm not sure where this idea came from, I just figured it would be nice for them to have their own establishment. Like. #made by vampires for vampires. something like that, and thought hm, why not a cafe? so i went on to a name generator and it showed me a bunch of corny names for cafes T^T. I saw the word brew and it kinda stuck. So the next thing i did was to search for the korean words of vampire related things--moon, blood, twilight. And that's how i found the word hwanghon.

I put hwanghon and brew together, decided that i liked the sound of it, and put it as the working title while i was writing. i honestly didn't think that it would be the final title. I was just thinking of replacing it when i thought of something better, but fortunately i was unable to come up with anything that topped it DFAHAHAHA i am also so relieved I kept the title because i think it's so distinct? It has a very nice ring to it and makes it easy for me to search people talking about it on twitter HAHSDHF

here's the logo/symbol of hwanghon brew, and it's exactly as it is described in the fic

a crescent moon with the tips downturned, red rays dripping down from the middle. 

the red rays are an allegory to blood, hence why I used the word "dripping" to describe it. also, to me, the downturned crescent moon is a hollistic symbol of vampirisms. it is both a moon, and a pair of fangs. This symbol also plays a big part in the initiation because the necklace's pendant is in the same shape.

anyway, onto the system of hwanghon brew itself. Like Jay explained, the process of blood goes like this: human donations > health organizations > human government > high council > blood banks > vampire establishments (like HB) honestly, i didn't really consume much vampire media. i have never watched twilight or vampire diaries. the only knowledge i have of the collective concept of vampires would be from interview with a vampire, supernatural, a few clips from vampire knight, and a few panels from blood bank.

though i think the fact that i didn't really consume vampire media turned out to be a good thing in the long run, because I eventually had my very own take on the vampire universe and the world building. Though, it's not uncommon to have blood banks and whatnot, i just find it fascinating to have the vampire high council working hand in hand with the human government.

JAKE

oh my sweet Jake. he's just a baby girl, that's all. His characterization here isn't really far off from how i see him in real life? happy go lucky, very determined, absolutely resilient.

besides, i think that these are qualities of a person who can go through so much and come out of it stronger. these are the traits that would enable him to put his foot forward, join the coven, butter up to heejay, and go against a monster like khan.

however, while he is all those things---strong and brave, he is also very hesitant at the same time? He's the type to rethink his actions and mull over his decisions over and over again and question himself if he made the right choice.

he's also very conscious of the people around him, and he has his own insecurities, which to makes him feel more human than any of them, which also makes sense given that he's the youngest vampire.

EYE COLORS

I mention this throughout the fic--their eyes flashing inhuman colors whenever they're either hungry, protective, angry, etc etc. For Jake, it's blue. For Jay, it's red. This small detail isn't really important aside from the fact that only purebloods have red eyes, but I just got this idea from the japanese MV of given-taken. (actually, i rewatched that mv so many times while writing this fic)

GIFTS

it's mentioned in the fic that vampires develop gifts down the road. Jay's is super strength, Heeseung - telepathy, Jungwon - speed, Sunghoon - shapeshifter(?), Sunoo - gravity defiance, Riki - shadow manipulation/teleportation

Honestly, i just got this from the dark moon webtoon because i wanted to add a little flare to it lmao. Given, Jake's power would be fire. Initially, I thought of including his power in the fic. If I did, it would play out like this: jake getting beat up by khan > heejay comes to the rescue > khan puts up a fight, drives them into a corner > jake, livid that khan had hurt heejay, awakens his power and uses fire for the first time to protect them (wow, zuko who?)

but I decided to scrap that idea because I wanted Jay to be indomitable, and also kinda wanted Jake to play into that whole damsel in distress thing

anyway speaking of powers, if anyone's wondering why heeseung didn't just tap into jake's mind to find him, it's because heeseung's telepathy in this universe only works on covenmates. and since jake technically wasn't a member yet, he couldn't reach him.

THE INITIATION

actually, if i remember correctly, this idea came from one of my twt besties and gfs, nina. it makes sense of course, because they're a frat. and frats have initiations and it's just terrorizing new recruits, like Sunghoon said. They reason that it's to assess the new member (especially after someone like khan), they wanted to be more sure of new recruits--whether they'd play dirty just to be part of the coven.

Sunghoon also mentions that it's Riki who suggested to have initiations and that it usually consists of playing games (tag, hide and clap) but with a vampire twist. Not only does this allow the existing members of the coven to assess the new recruits physical abilities (speed, senses, etc.) but it also allows them to asses their decision making.

SUNOO, JUNGWON, AND RIKI

admittedly, I didn't put much details about these three compared to the hyung line for various reasons.

for one, I wanted Sunoo to be a mystery, and figured that would only be effective if I only gave out little information about him, leaving gaps and spaces for the readers to imagine. Which is why I mentioned that aside from Jay, no one really knows about his age or where he came from. (but his backstory is complete in my mind lmao.) also, I wanted Sunoo to be different from the other vampires, which is why he sometimes talks in shakespearean HAJSHA. AND I wanted his character to be different from all the other sunoos I've written. I just really love playing into the opposite of how majority of the fandom perceives him as well.

Jungwon, while being the coven's leader, only makes appearances once in a while. Despite his little screentime (sorry won I'll make it up to you), I wanted to make sure that he came across as reliable, especially since he is the coven's acting leader. Which is why he shows up to remind Jake to feed. To me, while he participates in initiations, he makes up his mind about the new recruits prior to that and acts based on this. He went easy on Jake because he actually liked him and wanted him to be a part of the coven, which is why he played along but gave back Jake's moon necklace in the end.

And Riki. He may seem like a playful vampire who's just there for the vibes, but he is also very perceptive. Like Sunoo, he plays a bigger part than what is implied, but I don't want to give out too much information bc I want to write a prequel HSDFHAHSD but yeah, Riki knows the streets and knows his shit.

well, that's that. Thank you for coming to my ted talk! I really enjoyed writing about my thought process while writing, and where I pulled inspiration from. I still think that I really outdid myself with writing this one and I think the comments I got just prove it. I love Hwanghon Brew with my whole heart and I am beyond happy that I get to share this with people who enjoyed reading it just as much as I had fun writing.

whatever i didn't cover here (like most of their character backgrounds, and khan) I will be including in the prequel. Anyway, speaking of the prequel, I've been told that some readers are curious about the timelines and the backstories of the members. I think if you pay enough attention to detail, you'd be able to gather a few hints about the timelines and their ages.

I do hope that if I ever do push through with it, you would be tuned in as well >< I have actually finished the outline, all that's left is actually writing it. I don't know when because I am unfortunately a busy college senior (writing her thesis and having her internship). But I do hope I get to do it soon because some of you really seem enthusiastic about it and it really warms my heart. Anyway, please consider this a love letter to the readers who enjoyed Hwanghon so much and showered it with so much love.

love u all ❣

[allsassnoclass]

Are there any good 5SOS friendship fics?

the answer is definitely yes! we have fantastic writers in this fandom, so there are great friendship fics here. i can compile a list based on previous times i've answered this question, but i haven't been reading much 5sos fic for the past year and friendship fics have never been my favorite type of fic.

to find friendship fics on ao3, search for any of the pairings with a & sign instead of a / (example: Michael Clifford & Luke Hemmings). You can filter out the romantic pairings by excluding pairings with a / on the filters bar. this is a great way to find friendship fics, especially because asking me is only going to get the fics i'm aware of in my small circle here on tumblr, whereas filtering on ao3 will help you find a whole lot more!

now on to my recs:

with open hearts and open eyes by @lifewasradical: rated G, ot4 friendship, 2k. very highly recommend this one i love it a lot

If he closes his eyes, Luke thinks he can almost believe that he’s 16 again, that they’re in Australia and they’re just starting out, thrumming with energy and excitement and glee that still lingers in their bones if they look hard enough. Some of that childlike wonder bleeds through the moment, Luke’s sure of it, as the others all turn onto their stomachs too. Their outlines are barely able to be seen through the darkness, but Luke would know the contours of the other guys even if he went blind.

If I Can Dream Long Enough by @4thbrighteststar: rated G, ot4 friendship, 2k.

Luke leans back, closes his eyes and lets the setting sun wash over his face, lets his fingers find a rhythm of their own. Third fret, fifth string. Tenth fret - his fingers hop up and down the guitar. Seventh fret. Fifth fret - no, keep the riff. He loses himself in it, until the wind and the birds and the distant, roaring cars fall silent in the face of the music he’s making by himself for the first time in eternity.

(An ode to making music in the toughest of times.)

am i broken (are you the saviour) by jbhmalum, rated T, malum friendship, 4k

He should do something. Maybe take a deep breath, in and out. Maybe turn on the bedside lamp. Maybe go lie down on the cold bathroom floor. Maybe bury himself under Calum’s covers and cuddle up to him; it probably wouldn’t even wake Calum, and Michael would get the comfort he needs.

Michael hears something he didn’t want to and has a hard time dealing with it.

dearly depressed and brokenhearted (i’d like to let you know that boys cry too) by @clumsyclifford: rated T, muke friendship, 2k

Michael returns. He’s wearing a jacket and a beanie and there’s a blanket from off their couch in his hands.

“Michael,” Luke says.

“Please,” Michael says. “I’m obviously not going to convince you to come inside, but I don’t want you to freeze.” He takes the steps, footsteps falling where Luke’s had, and comes close enough to Luke that when he offers up the blanket, Luke reaches out and takes it. “I know you don’t wear jackets,” Michael explains.

(It’s cold and rainy out. Luke goes for a walk.)

crack a smile, stay a while (am i holding for applause?) by @clumsyclifford: rated T, cashton friendship (but the other two are there as well), 1k

Glancing down at Ashton, Michael adds, “What’s with him?”

“He’s convinced he’s going to do terribly and publicly humiliate himself,” Calum says, rolling his eyes again for good measure.

“No, you’ll be great,” Michael says brightly. “Calum’s always saying how you’re the most talented person in his music whatever class.”

“Calum’s stupid and wrong,” floats Ashton’s voice from somewhere underneath the seat.

no love sincerer (than the love of food) by TempestRising: rated G, ot4 friendship, 4k

5 times One Direction fed 5 Seconds of Summer / 1 time One Direction needed feeding.

melancholy & honey by @igarbagecannoteven: rated G, malum friendship, 500 words, they’re bees (yes you read that right)

Michael’s only been resting there for a minute when he hears a familiar hum approaching him from behind. He doesn’t have to turn his head to know it’s Calum.

glitter by @igarbagecannoteven: rated G, cake friendship

Calum has no idea how Luke is able to infect all of their tour gear with glitter so completely.

below are a collection of friendship fics that I personally have not read, but I’ve read other works by the writers so I feel okay recommending them

Jess @daydadahlias has written so many friendship fics that I have heard great things about!!!

 Torn Up (ot4 friendship, 8k)

Tailspin (cashton friendship, warning for alcohol/smoking, 5k)

Lightweight (ot4 friendship, warning for heavy alcohol, non-consensual kissing, 5k)

Tender (mashton friendship, 3k)

Superbloom (cashton friendship, warning for discussions of Skinny Skinny, 3k)

Movie Night (lashton friendship, 3k)

Shoebox (lashton friendship, 3k)

The Craft Club series (outside pov of ot4 friendship, but only Ashton appears in most of the installments. I've heard a lot of really fun things about this series, so while it isn't necessarily a heavy friendship focus I still recommend!)

from Bella @clumsyclifford

you should know i’ll be there for you (lashton friendship, 2k)

maybe this is just as good as it gets (cake friendship, 2k)

our best years are yet to come (thanks for choosing me) (cashton friendship, 1k)

from @lifewasradical

have my back (yeah, everyday) (malum friendship, 3k)

so much older (lashton friendship, 2k)

then if I may self-rec:

takeoff by me: rated G, mashton friendship, 1k

Sweater Weather by me: rated G, malum friendship or pre-slash, 1k

Tornado Warning by me: rated T, ot4 friendship, 2k

wedding vows by me: rated T, malum friendship, background roylum and mystal 5k

if anyone else has friendship fics they want to recommend feel free to add on!

[three-headed-monster]

alright! as a kind of wrap up on the year, let’s take a look at my fic goals for this year from 2023!!!

well….

concussion fic was not finished unfortunately.

lom got THREE of the intended FIVE new chapters which is very good

lay your head down was abandoned

twha was outlined, but not started, unclear if it will be started

5sos fic fest fic WAS completed! you can check it out over at my ao3, under the starvinginbelair pseud

not only did i complete MORE than one hrpf fic this year, it is pretty much EVERYTHING i published aside from the fic fest fic. in total, i published 11 new hrpf fics, for a total word count of 108 027

i did not complete a big sabres abo fic but oh boy did i think about it a lot!

dylan’s jersey not involved in any, but i published 4 new 424 fics this year.

long form content was focused on !!! i wrote a novel this year basically and i’m so proud of it. my tie fic icon that you are!

i will be back tomorrow with my new goals for next year ! hopefully it will go as well as this years did :))

[spacesully]

Tips on Writing a Book

(From a writer who's nearly complete with the novel they're writing.) These are opinions/tips that have helped me.

1.) Create a vague outline.

Don't spend too much time on writing out the details of the novel. World-build, create the characters, set up basic themes, and plot. I feel like the best writing comes through when you do minimal outlining. When I began writing The Vigil Experiment, I barely had an outline. I wrote the first chapter on a whim and it felt like the main protagonist was talking to me. It was not until later chapters (5/6) that I started outlining and plotting. I had a clear plot in my mind that I wanted to get down on paper, ensuring that I could identify any plot holes during the editing process. People may disagree with me because they believe it will make the plot sloppy, but that's not always the case. If you know how you want the book to end and the lessons it'll teach, then you have a basic outline. From there, you can write. I like to write with the flow, then put in more plot details through an outline after writing a few chapters into the book. This is just what helps me get my creativity going :)

2.) Practice. Practice. Practice.

People may not believe me when I say the key to writing is practicing it. What do I mean by that? Write short stories! Whether it's fan fics or essays for school, anything that can enhance your writing is worth exploring! Although I don't do it as often as I should, I can't help but notice how much my writing style improves every time I write an essay for college. (Using new vocabulary and transitions that make my writing easier to comprehend. It improves my prose.) I used to write short stories about characters I made up a while ago that have helped me tremendously when it comes down to writing. Practice folks!

3.) Listening to music.

Put on some Luke Hemmings or 5sos related and I'll write for hours. The inspiration music gives me is incredible. Writing a sad scene? Alright, put on some Billie Ellish. The aurora around music has captivated me to write even more. A lot of my inspiration draws from music, not just lyrically. It's the vibe of the music that uplifts me to weave words into sentences in my tales. It's so nice.

4.) Avoid distractions.

This is inevitable, as some of us are prone to get distracted. (Me) To minimize distractions, I turn on do not disturb on my phone for a few hours and put away everything that takes my focus off of my book. Remember to take breaks and be kind to yourself. It's okay to get distracted and wander away sometimes, but don't forget to stay focused on your goal.

5.) Don't edit your first draft. Go with the flow.

I had done this mistake, and I still do it occasionally, but I stop myself before I indulge in it. It's so easy to get lost in edits while reading back while writing. If you continue to do this, you'll never reach the end of the book. Trust me, I know from experience—it took me months just to finish three chapters.

6.) Rewrite IF needed.

If you realize that first or third person doesn't fit the narrative of your story, rewrite! Take your time and no rush to finishing your book. Only do this if you think certain perspectives are a better fit for your story.

7.) Take your time and have confidence in yourself.

Take your time and write at a pace that feels comfortable to you. Take your time and savor the journey instead of rushing towards the finish line! If it takes you years to finish writing a book because of the ups and downs of life, then embrace it! Trust in your writing abilities and avoid putting too much pressure on yourself!

8.) Promote early!

Another topic people may disagree with. The earlier you promote, the more opportunities you will have for success. Once you start outlining your book and have a clear idea of its content, begin promoting snippets and teasers to generate interest. Upload unedited snippets and your journey! I recently viewed a instgrammer whose book is in the works and they've been uploading unedited snippets and their journey of writing the book. Of course, keep it minimal to provide no spoilers, but provide a mini synopsis to captivate the audience in learning more about you and the book.

9.) Create Realatable Charchters.

This is very important! The process of character creation is what hooks people and keeps them engaged in your story. If there's a lot of development, they'll grow attached, especially if your character is relatable, someone the readers can see themselves in. It's my favorite part of the process because I get to observe people on social media and in real life. How can I get someone to relate to my character. I take notes, study behaviors, and even see likeable attributes in people for fictional characters. To help, I do character studies on fictional characters that people adore. Right now I'm doing a character study on Alastor and Lucifer from Hazbin Hotel. So far, this has helped me understand their personalities and analyze how they would respond and what actions they would take in certain situations. Lucifer, with his cunning nature, rarely loses his temper. Alastor, with his hands hidden behind his back and a constant smile on his face, maintains an air of deception to unsettle his enemies. The characters' body language tells the whole story. Lucifer's polite demeanor is evident in his use of phrases like "please," even during moments of frustration, suggesting his upbringing in Heaven. See, character studies can be influential, as you can implement some of these traits into your own. Just don't copy and paste characters, make them unique.

10.) Add as many scenes as you can think of and delete later.

Your first draft is your first draft for a reason. Go overboard, get creative! Get rid of scenes in the editing process.

11.) Have fun!

The most important step is to have fun. Make sure not to exhaust yourself with too much work. Immerse yourself in the boundless sea of creativity. If you start to feel fatigued or uninterested, take a break from your book and focus on something that brings you joy. Come back to it once you rediscover the joy it once brought you. Remember, you want to write and bring your words to life on the page.

Good luck with your novels and writing journeys! These tips are optional, so feel free to disregard them! I wanted to share these as a glimpse into my writing process, in case anyone was interested :)

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

Fics Based on IRL 5SOS Things (2) Masterlist

part one

Fetus

a chalk outline on a playground blacktop (ao3) - whiskeytantrums michael/luke G, 1k

Summary: Michael's always had a habit of making Luke cry.

How Do You Not Like FIFA? (ao3) - DontGetTooCloseItsDarkInside michael/ashton N/R, 1k

Summary: “How do you not like FIFA?” Michael asked Ashton, trying to keep the scandalized tone out of his voice. It wasn't working.

“What?” Ashton asked in confusion.

Hair

Back in Black (ao3) - no_clue_who luke/ashton T, 1k

Summary: Luke was standing in the hotel bathroom and Ashton was smiling like a maniac. Luke saw in his hand supplies that he thought Ashton had left at home. Ashton’s hair was faded red, really an orange to a red that they had let fade to almost nothing. That and he had left his hair dye in their house. Luke was staring at the box in his hands, it was not red but instead black.

“No.”

“I didn’t even say anything!”

or how not to dye your hair black

Red (ao3) - no_clue_who luke/ashton T, 1k

Summary: Luke saw the box of red hair dye in their bathroom. He also saw the bottle of developer sitting next to one of the nice bowls from the kitchen with a plastic fork in it. He also saw the white towel with a single streak of red dye on it.

The red was far too concentrated to be mixed up yet. Luke had time to figure out what was happening.

or how not to dye your own hair.

Until the Water Runs Clear (ao3) - orphan_account michael/luke T, 777

Summary: Michael asks Luke to help him dye his hair

Keeks

Smile for me babe (ao3) - Directioner_Jcats_5sosfam michael/luke M, 1k

Summary: Luke his homesick and sad, and Michael makes him smile

Wabi-Sabi (ao3) - merlypops michael/ashton T, 2k

Summary: 'Ashton remembers how his smile softened then and he pressed a gentle kiss to his boyfriend’s forehead, and Ashton remembers how the tiny, sad sigh that escaped Michael hurt him more than the hate online ever could.'

Michael can't see how wonderful he is and Ashton does his best to change his boyfriend's mind.

Interviews

"Maybe a little farm... some pigs" (ao3) - Directioner_Jcats_5sosfam Michael/Luke, Calum/Ashton G, 1k

Summary: Luke and Michael are dating, and Ashton thinks Luke is ready for marriage and settling down. What does Luke thinks about it?

peace (ao3) - no_clue_who ot4 G, 1k

Summary: Calum could see Michael was tired.

He could tell Michael was reaching his limit on being out, the interviews had dragged on and they all were tired. But Calum could tell Michael was really tired. He watched as Michael grabbed the cat pillow and started to pull back from the conversation. Michael was very tired.

stolen shirts/hearts (ao3) - kaleidoscopeminds luke/calum T, 6k

Summary: There's a sort of inevitability that comes with being in this band. A set of concrete circumstances that never seems to change. They annoy each other to hell, they know every last thing about each other, Calum is in love with Luke, and Luke always steals Calum's clothes. 

That's the way it is. That's the way they all know it is, except maybe Luke, who might be ignorant to the third thing on the list.

tongue tied by words (ao3) - strxngersagain Luke/Calum G, 4k

Summary: “Are you wearing my shirt?” 

Luke glances down at his chest, the Led Zeppelin t-shirt he found in Calum’s room hangs from his shoulders. “I thought this was yours?” He says, glancing at Calum. “So did I.” Calum shrugs, his fingers still lingering on Luke’s thigh, eyes on the TV. “Bro,” Ashton groans. “I already have to deal with you stealing my shit.” He points at Calum, whose eyes still don’t leave the TV. “But now you too?!”

or

5 times luke stole calum's clothes, and 1 time calum stole luke's

Too hot for Mexico (ao3) - niallistoocute102030 T, 602

Summary: 5SOS are currently on tour in Mexico when the heat causes Ashton to pass out.

Based on the interview where Michel said Ash passed out which now isn't on Youtube.

Pictures

Hold You Tight Straight Through The Daylight (ao3) - harrehsbutterfly G, 890

Summary: Drabble about Luke being ill, based off a photo I saw, where he basically looked really pale and shaky.

Robe Men (ao3) - azalea_21 michael/ashton N/R, 835

Summary: Just a lil fic about based on the picture 5SOS tweeted with Michael and Ashton in robes.

Songs/Music Videos

it's not the end of the road (ao3) - rocketshiptospace michael/luke T, 8k

Summary: Luke is a CEO. Michael owns a hot dog stand. Their friends like to meddle a lot.

Lyrics (ao3) - paperstorm michael/luke T, 4k

Summary: Michael writes Jet Black Heart for Luke.

Superbloom (ao3) - @daydadahlias (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)) T, 3k

Summary: Ashton brings Calum a CD.

Talk Fast (ao3) - no_clue_who luke/ashton T, 2k

Summary: "What is it about then, huh? What is the fucking line 'won't last I'm ok with that' about?" Luke said, blinking back tears. He just wanted to hear Ashton say it, say that he didn't love Luke the way Luke loved him. "What does it mean?"

"It's only a matter of time." Ashton said. His voice was shaking.

"It's only a matter of time till what Ashton?"

or how not to write a song about your relationship

Wrapped (ao3) - stelleshine michael/luke, luke/others E, 17k

Summary: Michael wrote 'Wrapped Around Your Finger' for Luke, and decides to tell him that - repeatedly - backstage after their show, with Luke pressed up against a wall. From there, feelings happen.

Other

it’s like a go-gurt (ao3) - orphan_account G, 905

Summary: What if Luke actually drank the tzatziki sauce?

[dragonbarbie]

tag people you want to know better!

i was tagged by: @daenysx (thank you for tagging me 💙💙)

last song i listened to: she's kinda hot - alternate version by 5sos. i had a fic idea for rockstar!aegon while listening to this song and ever since then i play it on loop whenever i'm working on its outline.

currently watching: watching the great season 3 and doctor who series 13 ; also rewatching the crown and ted lasso for like the hundredth time

currently reading: dead famous by greg jenner - its this really cool non-fiction book about the history of celebrity, cannot recommend it highly enough

current obsession: punjabi movies! since i'm away studying at a uni in a different state most of the year and even during my breaks i'm interning throughout, i get to spend very little time with my family. so we decided that we'll have a movie night every friday to get some family time and my mom's been picking all these punjabi movies, i absolutely love them, the music, the costumes, the comedy its all just so up-lifting.

i've also been researching a lot of fashion history for this intellectual property rights paper i wanted to write, and its so fascinating.

and writing of course, i've only recently started writing fics publicly so i'm just brimming with a hundred ideas!

(no pressure) tagging: @amiraisgoingthruit , @vhagarlovebot and seriously anyone else who wants to do it, go ahead and say i tagged ya!

[writtenbygracewilliams]

For the writer asks - 17 and 19!

17. talk about your writing and editing process

The short answer is I rarely plan anything at all, at least not any written plans, I write with vibes and then it sits finished for ages because I hate editing.

The long answer is that the process varies between fic, different styles, fandoms, ships, tenses etc all affect the process.

I love the sibling dynamics of the Bridgerton’s and try to include parts of them in most fics, so I always need to write down all of their ages when I start or I quickly lose track. So Bridgerton fics have the most written down planning, but it’s still rarely plot stuff. Just lots of background info.

I don’t think I’ve ever written a story outline. People who plan out their chapters are like aliens to me. If you know ease, my behemoth 135k 5sos fic, know that I planned none of that. I had ideas in my head and messaged with a friend about it, but it was very much go with the flow. The way I write is like there’s a movie playing in my head and I’m just writing out what I see.

Relatedly, I often have no plot at all when I start a story and I just know the characters/setting/au I want to do. Both Ease and Alignment (which use the same world building but Alignment is h50 mcdanno) I knew how it would start but no plot after that. It was while writing ease, and facing writers block, that a friend said “just write what they’re doing in their daily lives” and I think of that a lot. Writing mundane life can often spark ideas when you consider how those specific characters approach ordinary things.

I have quite a few WIP drafts rn that I don’t have plot for, I just write vibes. One example is a kanthony soulmate au where I have the set up but no idea of how to progress things. It will slowly float along.

I sometimes know (approximately) where a story will end, so I do keep that in mind. Ease I always planned to end with Avery’s birth, but then I got to where I did and it just felt like a natural stopping point. To Commandeer a Husband I always planned to finish with the wedding, then added the coronation last minute when I felt it need a touch more. Obligated I always knew would finish at the wedding. This isn’t universal, sometimes I have no clue when of how to end if.

The last key to my writing process is that I don’t consider what I write to be ‘first draft’. I simply write it, then edit it (usually after a bit of time has passed so I have a fresher perspective). It changes, but often not a lot. It’s fanfiction, it’s fun. I hate editing, so I don’t invest time in it. You don’t have to either! A beta makes it much easier, but I don’t have many and they’re still something very new for me. 🔵

19. the most interesting topic you’ve researched for a fic

I couldn’t possibly remember, I’ve been researching and writing for a decade.

I did have lots of fun with my peerages and titles deep dive, which started as research for to commandeer a husband. I found a 40 ish page UK parliamentary report from the debates had in 2010/2011 about altering rules of succession to the British throne, and it was such an interesting read I’ve read it twice!

I’ve researched everything from the origins of the term comphet to the invention of stoves and cooking techniques in 19th century England. Schools!!! I research schools a lot. It’s not relevant to anything in the story the exact school a character goes to, and yet I intensely search for the right one and then read all their policies. I am simply an information girlie.

Idk if it counts as research but I look at real estate a lot and have found houses for most of my characters. HMU if you wanna see anyway.

Recently I wanted to write a silly but specific sibling threat such as “I’ll bury one of each pair of your shoes in the garden” and I basically googled how to threaten you siblings and got given a heap of domestic violence help centres lmao. 🔵

Thanks so much for your questions and apologies for the delay! I just remembered you asked this last week and I left it in the drafts. Whoops. I’ll still do more of these, I love a good chat. I do somewhat apologise for the rambles here though. Ask away, they’re all here!

–GW xo

[shuamorollss]

this seems so cool!! tysm @luvistqrzzz for tagging <3

rules— write your favorite thing you've written, the least favorite, and one you think deserved more hype! then also post a screenshot of your recently saved on pinterest (just so it looks pretty)

MY FAV WRITTEN WORKS

makeover contemplation : kim sunoo drabble (1.1k)

— oh please, i literally wrote this drabble in one sitting and it's one of the works i hv that i always reread and still gets me giggling shitless :p

the world on our side : sim jake semi-smau

— ik this is still ongoing but i always imagine how the flow of this smau goes everyday. I'm so invested in my own writing for this smau as i read through the chapter outlines 😭😭 since it's now vacation for me, i can finally continue this smau with ease.

the WORST secret santa : yang jungwon fic (8.4k)

— i rlly love how i did an all girl friend group for y/n it's so hot girl energy. anyway I js feel like this fic was too rushed and messy 😭 though this prompts was so exciting for me to write!! and one of the works i kept rereading solely bc of hanni and jungwon's friendship :p

MY LEAST FAV WRITTEN WORKS

shout out : sim jake fic (0.6k)

— watched a fil movie and thought abt a certain scene this fic took place in. Literally almost the same premise and same dialogues idk what i was trying to do 😭😭 the movie was good though if u guys were wondering

teenage memories : park sunghoon fic (3.1k)

— i had kiss me kiss me by 5sos on repeat while writing this. this fic felt rlly out of place for some reason, and there r so many mistakes in this fic that i didn't even bother to correct 😭 this was also the time i was trying to outcome my writers block, which is why the writing on this is a bit sloppy.

WORKS THAT DESERVES MORE HYPE

won't you smile, I'm shooting a movie! : hyung line imagines

— messy formatting maybe BUT i rlly love all the tropes i wrote here, esp jayhoon i giggled the whole time while writing them. ALSO i had to repost this like 5 times bc of tumblr bugs 🫠 these imagines are kinda like short fics aswell, all various cliche tropes that i think suits the hyung line!!

wishing we were more than friends : sim jake fic (6.9k)

— this fic is so special to me... cause i wrote this while I was on a love crisis. too much overthinking got me to write this fic like 2 of the things that happened in thid fic were inspired by true events it's so funny 😢 the buildup and tensuon between jake and reader is so evident that it got me feeling si much 😭 this was also the fic that i had anyone to ever proofread and that made me cherish and wish more for this fic 🥹

RECENT PINTEREST SAVES

— HAHAHAHA these saved pins are so... a few months ago 😭 i don't save pins a lot jandkskdk

tagging these lovely writers i want to get to know more : @haerinz @heetoldme @maiverie @trsrina @iichaeyj @tzyuki @boyfhee @flwrshee (no pressure btw)

! "untitled #3: writer's edition" tag game !

credits to that anon who gave an ask on @/fairyofshampgyu's blog + idk what to name it so i just do that instead lmao

rules: write your favorite thing you’ve written, the least favorite, and one you think deserved more hype! then also post a screenshot of your recently saved on pinterest (just so it looks pretty)

tagged by: smiles @boba-beom! you've been posting so much more fics i haven't keep up yet :") but thanks for tagging me! this is fun!

another episode of lissie, the breaker of the chain. also warning: profanity, i will fucking curse + don't mind me expanding it. still creds to that anon though. i freaking adore you for asking that

part 1. favorite work(s) i've written (aka @/writingmochi staple and a must-read for people who finds my blog for the first time [welcome, new followers! hope you enjoy them!]):

crossroads, a enhypen jay one-shot

still is the proudest fic i've ever written. very studio ghibli (according to @/jeongwins) and also very movie-like. @/orochxi melodramas got me in the feels to write this but this is more wholesome that viv's memento mori-coded fics lmao... fun fact: this is almost a nct chenle fic inspired by parasite (2019) hence the fish-out-of-water scenario

troubled pixies, a txt taehyun one-shot two-shot

definitely my favorite character-building-wise. the fact that i have to figure out not only mc + taehyun but also the sisters, their partners, and the sisters' parents' characteristics here is so complicated yet fun, especially how intricate it is. also currently my longest one-shot i've written (52k) that tumblr hates it so much, it has to be divided into two :") (also, this is one of @/boba-beom's fav fics. i've successfully infected her with 80s/90s songs hehehe) + istg mc here is a definite lux lisbon if she live in 90s instead of the 70s, complete with the chainsmoking and her taste in 90s alt songs

time wave, a txt yeonjun series

now, this is my favorite world-building-wise. i made haeyang this intricate place and setting with its supernatural aspect only some people get (you will know when you read). before writing this, i know i had to make a life is strange (2013) inspired au because it is one of my favorite story-based games of all time that it kinda could be its own self, especially with my own twist on it. hope you are ready because the [redacted] spin-off will come around october! fun fact: this was supposed to be written for stray kids han

part 2. least favorite work i've written:

a story of two broken hearts, a enhypen jake series

i am still proud of this even though it is my least favorite!!!! why, you ask? because this is the first building block of my blog as a whole which is then continue with time wave's chapters as i honed my writing skill. it is the shortest one-shot currently (at 9k though which is still considered long-fic) but you could definitely sense my style even with that. and i don't wanna change it any other way... :]

part 3. work(s) that deserve more hype:

smirch, a txt and enhypen series

I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD! THIS IS ALSO ONE OF MY FAV FIC TO WORLD-BUILD AND I'M SO SAD THIS DOESN'T DESERVE MORE HYPE ABOUT IT! i made a social media au style of the characters' intro/profile and i also allow you guys to talk to them if you want and help with the world-building. please make their world grow so it can also motivate me to write this series! + this is a naughty teen series but not euphoria-esque, if you like skins uk especially gen 1 with tony, cassie, and a little bit of effy, please consider reading this :")

isobel, a txt soobin one-shot

this deserves more hype because tumblr let me down by not putting it in the tags aaaaaaaaaaaaa i re-post this 10 fucking times istg and ughhhh D: D: if you like magical realism or any of the genres written at the top, please consider reading it too

pizzeria run, a enhypen sunoo one-shot

the more time this fic is available on my blog, i have accumulated a few thoughts: (1) enhablr peeps are horny and like smut more than any other creative writing genre; (2) enhablr peeps don't read sunoo fics like they read heeseung/sunghoon/jungwon/niki's; and (3) enhablr peeps don't like anything except for romance. and that is sad to me because there are so many writers who write any topic other than romance or smut that is as great. so, if you want something different or if you like horror, do consider reading this one :D

part 4. recently saved pins on pinterest:

all of them are smirch post-episode updates! since the last entry is jay's, most of them are what happened to jay and mc after jay's episode (and one for heeseung's post-episode update). more pins will come soon as i make my moodboard for a few of my fics public!

tagging: my fellow writer mutuals @orochxi @impuritywritings @tyunlatte @heart2beom, my favorite seonghwa ateez writer @tenelkadjowrites and any other writers who want to join!

p.s. if someone tags me this tag game again when i've posted ateez fics, I'll definitely include one of them in here!

[xpingwinek-blog]

Hi i did it! @ashtonirwinofficial5sos

[goldensstateofgrace]

BITCH!! NO ONE WAS GONNA TELL ME OUTLINING EVERYTHING BEFORE YOU WRITE MAKES WRITING SO MUCH EASIER?!?!?

Anyways, have a new blurb coming soon 🥰💗